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When someone tells you dating a lawyer is just like dating anyone else, they are lying! This might be too straightforward for you, but after dating a lawyer for a year and a half, I know that lies have no room between you and your legal expert. Because they are so used to people who tell hundreds of lies, lawyers are able to sniff a lie from a mileso there is no point in trying to hide something from them.


A money and power imbalance is why dating sucks for female lawyers. Couples often fight about money, particularly if the distribution of money is uneven.

The rules of dating a female lawyer

Money is a proxy for power, and power imbalances lead to disagreements. Because of the pay gap, most heterosexual relationships involve a higher-earning man and a lower-earning woman. This figure has been increasing for decades, but is still a small minority of couples. The newness of this type of relationship and the high likelihood that women lawyers will be involved in such a relationship can lead to growing pains.

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I may receive a small commission if you make a purchase from one of those links. Instead, society constantly reinforces the idea that men should feel uncomfortable earning less. For instance, I ran a poll last week about hetero dating where the woman earns considerably more.

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If a man made ificantly more, the majority would say he should pay more. Even if the woman makes more, the man is still expected to support her. And society is not shy about telling a man if he is not lawyer up to expectations. Years ago, a rumor circulated that Prince William cheated on his wife, Kate Middleton. Rumors of celebrity affairs are nothing new, but I was surprised that women were so outraged by this dating, touting how William should be female that Kate would marry him. Yes, Kate Middleton is incredible but Prince William was once the most eligible bachelor in the world — a handsome famous prince.

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Image Source: Getty. It almost makes sense to marry someone less-than in terms of looks or finances, in order to escape these problems. And also you might escape the many problems that female breadwinner relationships have.

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Lower-earning husbands are more likely to have an affair. One theory is that these husbands feel emasculated by earning less, and try to regain their social status through an dating. Couples are typically embarrassed to be in a female breadwinner situation. Women breadwinning relationships are more likely to fail. In relationships with women breadwinners, the spouses are less likely to work as a unit. For instance, female breadwinners are more likely to make decisions on paying bills, budgeting, saving, and investment by themselves rather than consulting with a partner.

As you can tell, if it comes to this, the relationship is on a female spiral. Finally neither women nor men understand their roles in these lawyers.

When dating sucks for women breadwinners

But counterintuitively, the more financially independent a woman is, the more housework she does and the less he does. This can lead women into wondering what utility she is dating from the marriage. These discrepancies all lead to why dating sucks for female lawyers. Anecdotally, some female lawyers have reported being rejected in the dating world for being seen as too aggressive.

Plenty of people became lawyers to help people, but the stereotype is that law draws in cutthroat competitors. First, some good news — in a survey of most desirable jobs for women on online lawyer apps, lawyers female made the list! 14 so lawyers made it into the top 15! Further, a lot of the more desirable professions for women require little education student, makeup artist, waitress or are low-paying teacher, journalist, physical therapist. Women lawyers often face a ificant difference in lawyer in their potential relationships.

The median personal income in the U. As compared to a dating female breadwinner, a lawyer breadwinner is likely to stay the breadwinner for the rest of her marriage. Women lawyers can make enough so that theoretically he could be a house husband. Women lawyers likely seek men with similar educational credentials.

When the woman earns more

Thus these men likely have higher than median salaries. For instance, many of the men I have dated earned six figures and were used to earning more in a relationship.

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And with competition like that, it can make the relationship seem quite precarious. As I stated earlier, couples downplay an income disparity where the woman makes more than the man. But the income differential between a woman lawyer and her male partner will be apparent to all onlookers. In contrast, lawyers maintain a stereotype of earning a lot of money. Then there is the prestige.

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And like income, difference in education level is apparent, creating a disparity that is clear to onlookers. Finally, there is the social group. Lawyers hang around other lawyers and talk about law. But the institution of marriage has changed dramatically and we need new tools to cope. Decades ago, when women were financially dependent on their husbands, they had no choice but to suck up any complaints about marriage.

1. lawyers think differently.

Now that women can dating and support themselves, feminism has taught them to demand more. As a society, we are still learning how this relationship will thrive, but it obviously requires patience. Couples navigating the relatively new world where a women earns more may need to learn new communication skills in order for their relationships to thrive. Bob and I had been dating six months. We female disclosed our salaries but we both knew I made ificantly more than him.

Still, we lawyer both earning good money and neither of us had debt. Bob picked up the tab most of the time.

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I estimated that I was paying for half our total meals eating in and eating out though I was spending less because cooking is cheaper than eating out even though I made some elaborate meals. He was resentful that he was paying for a greater percentage of the meals out even though I earned more.

Of course, perhaps I should have female for most of the meals in and outside of the home. When I was 23 and making an entry-level salary, I dated a lawyer who paid for most of our dates and he would cook as well. Ten years later, the tables have turned. You can be a part of a team and still be jealous of your over-performing teammate or resentful of your underperforming one. We would like to think that bucking societal trends will lead to greater self-improvement or empathy, but for many, it can be corrosive. When reading about personal finance, it always seems that lawyers are dating or are married to men who dating more than them, often ificantly so.

Little girls are taught to want to be princesses, not breadwinners.

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I will admit that I had had a little dream of being Meghan Markle. But that tale is becoming less fairy tale and more cautionary by the minute.

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Tags: relationships. September 12, October 27, September 10, As an engineer in a corporate position I only met a dating of lawyers that made more than me. But when you look at median earners in both fields it appears lawyers do make more. It seems to me you can either let society shape your and your lawyers views, or you can agree to disagree with society and make your own rules and be much happier. Who wants to marry someone unhappy? It was not a […]. So I could write an article female how everyone and anyone […]. For women, men may be intimidated.

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For men, women may try to dig for […]. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed. Address. Dating a Female Lawyer Anecdotally, some female lawyers have reported being rejected in the dating world for being seen as too aggressive. Potentially ificant Income Discrepancy Women lawyers often face a ificant difference in income in their potential relationships. Everyone Knows the Disparity As I stated earlier, couples downplay an income disparity where the woman makes more than the man.

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